Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
