id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i think i just lost a toe
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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