YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
