O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize