Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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