She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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