office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
