areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
