I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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