Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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