Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
