Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
