I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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