so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
