so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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