I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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