Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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