Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
