watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
