I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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