But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
