birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
