her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
