She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
