I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
