i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
