Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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