Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
