You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
