I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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