physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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