well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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