It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
