I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
