the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
