Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
