Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
