So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
