my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
