I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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