the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
