My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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