I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
