and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
