You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
