So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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