I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
