i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
