I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
