i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize