I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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